Strikes

The last week has been very mixed, Angel stayed off school all of last week and one of the things that helped me to recover mentally was the belief that I wouldn't be sending her back to school. I kept a diary of the things we did together and even though she wasn't well and spent time zoned out watching 'Paw Patrol' and 'Wallykazam' I looked back on what I'd written to find she'd actually done more learning than she'd done in school on that Monday. It was nice to have been in the classroom to see how much 'learning' they actually did.

I have to say I had a lovely week, we did lots of fun things together, played games, i taught her how to decopatch and we made some tree decorations, and on the Friday we had a baking session and made some wonderful fairy cakes. I took photos and wrote the learning journal for proof for myself as much as anyone else what we were achieving even with Angel not at full speed,
Her behavior changed as well, she was no longer grumpy and argumentative, she explained herself when she became frustrated and we were both a lot happier.

The bubble was burst at the end of the week when I told T I planned to not send her back to school. He was not keen on the idea at all. He wanted her back in school, he felt it was the best place for her at the moment.  I reluctantly agreed knowing how happy she is at school and when Monday came around she went in.
Monday was a difficult and very strange day as after school Angel went to her friends house for the first time which meant I was home alone from the start of school until gone 6.00 when T picked her up on his way home from work and brought her home. I tried my best to keep busy and had a push on my writing but it was a horrible feeling.
She had a great time though which was the main thing and she came home very very tired and quite grumpy as a result; but happy.

Another thing to note here was T's dad deciding to chat to me and bringing up the school issue. Now baring in mind that he doesn't know my school history and he also was supposed to have no idea what we'd been into the school to speak to the head, nor that she was watching over Angel; he knew all of this and used some of the same sentences that the head had used at the meeting such as 'you can't let your own bad school experiences affect how you see school for Angel'.
Not only should the meeting have stayed in that room and only between the head, Angel's teacher and us. We had made the head promise not to tell T's dad (as he helps out at the school and the head and him are kind of close). She had promised and even seemed a bit put out by our requests as if she'd never dream of it.
Yet there he was speaking about things that only she should know, that we only discussed with her. So it would seem he has been told somethings! We just aren't sure how to find out for sure.

Tuesday morning (yesterday) was an entirely different story for Angel and school. She got up grumpy (she'd had some nightmares in the night but she couldn't remember what about). She delayed getting dressed and messed about and argued and played up something chronic, Then she did the same with doing her teeth and then decided she needed to go to the loo. She refused to move off the loo and I didn't want to rush her so left her. She still wouldn't move and we were forced to do her hair with her on there or risk being very late. I asked her why she was being so slow, why she was delaying and she replied she didn't want to go to school, that she doesn't like lunch times and is tired. We both tried to talk to her and reassure her.
T was meant to be taking her into school but she delayed so much that he was late and couldn't take her in. He went out and I allowed Angel to carry on in the bathroom feeling no need to rush her, If she needed some time then I wasn't going to stop her from having it.

She eventually came out of the bathroom and seemed a bit happier. I had to deice the car a second time when we got outside and I very very strongly considered just taking Angel back in the house and keeping her home for the day. She'd cheered up though and so I decided to drive down there and see how she did along the way and when we got there; I wasn't going to send her in if she was really that unhappy.
We were twenty minutes late and the gates were closed so we had to go through the reception area. I went into the school with her and spoke to her teacher and we had cuddles and then she went in to join the other children singing in the hall without a hiccup. The teacher assured me she would look after her and I left asking the teacher to call me if Angel got upset.

I had no calls in the day and I went to the school to pick her up as usual - including having a massive panic attack-. When the children started coming out the teacher called me int the classroom and proceeded to tell me how lunch time had been messed up again.
As she put it 'because Angel was late into school there was a miss-communication (again!).
I'm sure I mentioned this before last time it happened but to recap; the way lunches work is that there is a hot dinners menu and if Angel doesn't like whats on the menu that day she will take in a pack lunch or she will choose to have a jacket potato. Yesterday she's chosen to have a jacket potato.

Apparently Angel had sat with the hot dinners children (as she was meant to) and when  she was asked what she was having for lunch she replied 'a jacket potato'. She was offered the food on the menu for that day and she told them that she wasn't having that as she didn't like it. (Apparently this confused them because they gave it to her anyway) She once more told them she didn't like it and would like a potato and the seemed to not be able to comprehend because they gave her a school packed lunch (she doesn't like any of these on any days and I have told them this several times!)
So she ended up with a bit of plain bread for lunch and a cake that she had to pick apart because she didn't like the bits in it. Oh and some grapes. So all she really got was a bit of bread and some grapes. She came out of school very very grumpy and ravenous! Just to top it off here she told me later that she didn't get a drink at lunch because she was given orange juice and she didn't like it but they wouldn't change it for water. Her water bottle that she has available in the classroom was still full so she'd had no drink that day at school at all!

Once her bad mood had passed after her rather large dinner we sat down together to do her homework - I used to think homework was stupid but its the only time we get on weekdays to sit down and do something nice together, to learn together. We got it out and did the word worksheet and once more I made it harder by reading out the words and getting her to write them how she thought they were spelled. And she got them all right including two five letter words. (oh and it was all stupid cursive writing pushing too, but as long as she stays at school it is forced on them so we have no choice). Then we got out the maths homework. A few minutes later we put it away again. It was beyond babyish and even more beyond boring. It was a very simply game where she had to read the number on the dice from 1 to 6..... and that's it. T wrote his opinion of it on the homework sheet and we've sent it back in today.

This morning Angel was a lot happier than yesterday and was ready for school early wearing a sticker I had given her for being such a good girl and getting dressed so well. Now usually when i take her to school she gets more upset but today Daddy took her to school and I got a call from him a a few minutes later to say she'd been very upset and burst into tears when they got out of the car. She'd told him she was very tired and wouldn't be able to lie down at school. She said she didn't want to go, her legs were too tired and she would miss us. He took her into see the teacher and told her how Angel was feeling. The teacher assured him she would look after her and T told her to call me if Angel got no better or got worse; that I would come and pick her up. The teacher assured him that she would but I have a feeling that no matter what I won't get that call. She's been feeling poorly at school before and never been sent home. It seems to just be brushed aside. If we get no call and Angel tells us she wanted to come home then that will be another strike and we are going to see the head again. If T is becoming annoyed and unimpressed by them then they really are doing badly; he's so easy going.

So we shall see.

I'd love to start HE this term, all of the lovely things I could do with Angel. I could properly teach her about Yule. We could make people presents, make decorations and our own wreath. We could learn all about winter and wintry things and meet new friends. With the big piece of land that we live on we could do nature walks for other HE families and children and craft morning with our new friends too. I would love to do all of that.
At the moment she is practicing for a silly school play meaning all morning is that and nothing else. Then she has several performances and I have to send in even more clothes for her to wear for it and get her back to school in the evenings. But if she doesn't do it then she will be excluded and separated.
Very frustrating.